How was your college experience? On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being "I absolutely hated it" to 10 being "I would give up a limb to go back" where would you rate your experience? I would give my college experience a 5. Most of the people I know who would give their college experience an 8, 9, or 10 do so not because of the education they received but based on the community they had. In other words, they made some very close friends. The best you, however, was not in college.
The most impactful you was not in your college years. The most fun you was not in college. Sometimes we forget how limited geography and availability can be so powerful. And college is just these two things. The college you chose becomes like the Sun. Your whole life orbits around this specific geographical location, if you get far away and stay away things start to fall apart. In the typical college experience you're committed to staying close.
College also provides plenty of space for you to be available, a couple of classes a day with time in between. I'm not sure I've met a college student who spends eight hours a day in class? (I think they eventually refer to the ones that do as doctors?) But this space makes us available in free space and relationally. There are roommates and friends also operating within this same available schedule so of course college can be relationally rich and full of adventure. Of course you may look at this time and think, "I was so effective back then."
At this time if your tears are falling on your keyboard remembering Ultimate on the quad with friends please stop. Some times we have to step back and ask "why" something was good instead of trying to re-live the past. Most relationships, goals, or callings in your life will improve if you limit geography and make yourself available. And just like college this occurs in seasons. College worked well because it has breaks. Healthy adults will honor holidays and time off.
What keeps us from being the best us, the most impactful us, and the most fun us after college is our focus on limiting our geographical location and making ourselves available for specific seasons. Unfortunately, one does not work without the other. You can be readily available but just sit on your couch and nothing will improve. You can be obsessed with the thought of having a great relationships or reaching goals but if you are never available it simply won't work.
What do you need to focus on in this next two to three months? What focus do you need to stay close to? And what are you going to do to make yourself available in this space?