Things BIG men don't understand

Bike Seats

Is this a work out or check up?  Can that thing put on some rubber gloves first?  Are you sure the seat isn't made by Charmin?  Was this Victoria's Secret all along?  You can see how perplexed I am on the bike seat.  If I had to ride on that thing I might as well be on the tread mill because I'd be standing in the clips the entire ride.  I assumed the bike was excited by all "The Avengers" hype and was trying to be prepared for Halloween this year as Hawkman.

But to my dismay, the bike seat is real and the BIG man grimaces at the site of that beak...I mean seat.