Things BIG men don't understand

Whatever this is:

Let's compare the thought process of the small man versus the BIG man when it comes to shopping for jeans.

Enter with me into the mind of the small man in the dressing room:

"Sweet.  Is that a cool pocket with a rad design right on my butt so girls will stare at my backside?  Winner!"

Now let's enter into the mind of the big man in the dressing room:

"Oh thank goodness they're on.  Bonus, there are pockets actually on my butt and not all the way down on the back of my thighs."

The last thing a BIG man is going to put on his butt is a design for others to interpret the distance across each cheek.