Scrambled eggs or sucky eggs?

I'm about to ruffle some feathers and do a little myth busting myself.  Let's do it in a open letter.  Open letters can either be used on blogs to bring something to peoples' attention or trying to get readers by attacking Rob Bell.  I'm pretty sure Rob out smarts me so I'll take on those who scramble eggs inappropriately. #eggswin Dear Scrambled Egg Makers,

For the love of every little chicken who makes it past your skillet, stop adding water or milk to your scrambled eggs!


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I know people are thinking, "But adding water or milk makes my scrambled eggs so moist!"  Two issues with this: 1.  Don't ever use the word moist unless referencing a cake.  2.  Apparently YOUR eggs are defying science.

Let's think about this: what happens if you pour water into a hot pan?  The water evaporates.  Do your eggs have a magical property that outsmarts the boiling point of water?  Of course not.  And did you know that the water evaporating with your eggs then draws out whatever moisture was in your eggs, which by the way is a protein, meaning the only moisture in it comes from fat.  So whatever good fat there was in your eggs you just kissed goodbye because water and fat separate.  You lose the water and the fat is pulled out of the protein!

Like any protein, flavor and moisture come from fat.  You wouldn't put a steak on the grill and pour water on it over and over again believing that it will become juicier?  So stop with your eggs.  Instead, add a fat like butter or margarine.  Let's KISS these eggs: Keep It Simple Stupid.

Eggs are like anything else, meaning you get what you pay for.  I think Eggland's Best eggs are the tastiest but that's another entry.  Apparently, I buy cheap but blessed eggs.

Here's a fun tip: don't crack your egg on the edge of anything, instead crack it on a flat service.  Using a flat surface keeps the shell from shattering and falling into your eggs.  Also, if you learn to hit the right spot on the more pointed side of the egg the top will come clean off.  I drew the exact spot you want to hit on an egg.

Cracking the egg on a flat surface on that exact spot will get you this...

Once you have your eggs, all you need from here is...

Heat you skillet, preferably non-stick, to medium heat.  Here comes the flavor and moisture through fat...add a tablespoon or more of butter depending how many eggs you are cooking.

Don't wait for the butter to entirely melt because if your pan is too hot you are going to brown the butter.  Get the eggs in the pan ASAP and start moving everything around.  Just keep it moving till everything is set and you have much better scrambled eggs.