The Worst Way You Could Fall in Love

I’m sure it’s happened to you before. You’ve gotten hurt or you’ve been betrayed. Isolation follows the hurt and you want to give up. There is a period of time with lots of confusion, nothing really adds up. You have thoughts of running away, finding a new place to exist so you don’t have to live with daily reminders of how it failed. Any of this familiar to you?

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This is what happens when you and I as leaders fall in love with an idea.

The idea may be a new relationship that is going to make problems go away.

The idea may be a new way to generate revenue.

The idea may be a new way to structure everything for more productivity.

The idea may be a shiny new goal.

All good things. Not one of these is something we should see as bad or risky. The wheels come off when we fall in love with an idea and the world around any of these begins to change. We can’t let go. We’re in love with an idea that no longer serves people and eventually it fails us all and breaks our hearts.

How do you know if an idea is still worth holding onto? Keep this in mind:

Love = Labor

If the idea does a work to serve those you lead than it’s worth holding onto. BUT, if the idea no longer does work for those you lead than it’s time to let go. This could be true of a relationship, or something that once generated revenue, or a former structure, and yes even in regards to some goals.  To love means it serves someone else.

The worst way for you to fall in love is with an idea that no longer serves the people you lead.

Will you hire yourself every day?

To what extent do you believe in yourself? Or maybe the better question is how much do you believe in your calling? 6918903804_50f44c58a8_z

A majority of my friends have employers just like me, I have an employer. Having an employer means we spend most of our work life producing something that meets a collective goal. Some folks work to produce springs in pens and other people work to help us travel. Some people work to create laws and other people work to see lives have transformation.

What I want to ask you today is what does your work produce in you? Not to be confused with what you’re producing at work today. But what actually happens in your spirit while you work? The question is worth answering because if you don’t like what is produced in you through your work there is a solution.

Hire yourself.

“I can’t quit my job.” This was the first thought in your head. I know it was because your brain is hardwired to flee in order to survive. And yes, your job helps you on a daily basis survive but to survive in misery isn’t much of a life either. Right now, right as you read this you need to make the decision to hire yourself. And you’re going to start to moonlight on your current job by sitting in your free time with a pen and paper and asking your new employee (yourself) the following questions:

  1. What do I love to have conversations about?
  2. What do I do naturally that my friends and family have to work really hard at?
  3. When I work on __________________ I experience joy?
  4. What do my friends and family come to me for advice about or need me to help them with?

Congratulations, you officially have a business idea or a new job description. Nothing is going to change today but things might be very different a year from now if you lean forward. Here comes the biggest factor in your work life changing: Would you hire yourself? Any employer knows the critical question in hiring - “Will this potential employee do the work.”  So I ask you - will you do the work?

Will you hire yourself every day? Will you start the job today you want in a year? Will you do the work in your free time? Will you produce something now that can be seen in the future? There’s no pay, there’s no benefits.

Except something new being produced in yourself, something that feels like life.

What’s that worth to you?

Why it's hard for you to leave a legacy

For the normal person it takes a long time.  Quick legacies are created by having a moment to save someones life or making a mistake in front of a huge audience.  So we are capable of creating good legacies and negative legacies.


If you want to leave a legacy you have to stick to doing things other people don't like to do over a long period of time.  There is a difference between having a profession for thirty years and having a calling for thirty years.  A calling requires passion beyond the basics in your work over many years.  If you want to leave a legacy as a normal person you're going to have a calling over a long period of time in the same direction.  This doesn't mean work at the same place for years on years, it means you need to have something your passionate about and you pursue it on a daily basis over time.

What kind of legacy are you hoping to leave?

Live, love, laugh, leave a legacy.

-Stephen Covey