Big men

Happy Runners

  Listen.  Regardless of how many times you ask me, I'm never going to give you a happy face.

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That's the screen shot of my couch to 5k app.  Every time it asks me, "How do you feel?"

I want to yell at it.  I'd like to spike my phone.  Who is smiling at the end of a run!?  Who!?  Certainly not the big man!  You want to know how I feel after a run?  I feel like this:



The only little people I see happy after running are children and adults who don't try.  Back off me with the smiley faces.


Things BIG men don't understand

In Flight Refreshments

So you give a BIG man a bag of peanuts and then offer a cup that is a single drink?  A 12oz ginger ale is an appetizer when it comes to refreshments so how can you offer a three oz sip after a bag of salty peanuts?  This is like torture at 36K feet.  Then the BIG man debates on if it's against unspoken flight rules to ask for a refill.  When it comes to air travel, the BIG man is never on the radar.

Things BIG men don't understand

The common bathtub.

What most people view as a place to soak their entire body the BIG man see's a place to soak his feet.

Sometimes I think to myself, "I wish I had a nice quite place to get only my back wet."

You know the little man invented the modern bath tub.  I bet the same dope came up with the water displacement test.

Of course other times I think, "Where could I go where I can wash and rinse the bottom half of me and then the top half of me?"  The best part is washing the top half as the blood rushes out of the toes since the feet are running to the shower head in this cleaning effort.

The BIG man is going to keep it safe and use the modern tub as a foot soaking spot for the self pedicure.  Other guys do that right?