Have you ever wanted punch someone at church? Gut check, it's honesty time, don't lie to yourself - have you? [youtube 5RnVfXFd5MU ]
I recently observed a young, upper middle class dad give it to a church volunteer. He was upset because for fourth week in a row he wasn't able to get his kid checked into the nursery so he and his wife could attend the service undisturbed because it had filled up. Here's where the plot thickens: 1. He was 15 minutes late to the service. 2. The volunteer was super polite and asked him if he had tried a different service that wasn't as full so there would be less competition for nursery space. 3. Last but not least, the church desires to keep a volunteer/child ratio in order to keep HIS kid safe.
This dad had a couple of options, he could of volunteered to work in the nursery to create more space for his kid. He also could have gone to a different service OR he could have shown up EARLY like the parents who got their kid in the nursery (jack-leg).
When I heard him speak to the volunteer this way my anger rose quickly. I wanted to knock him out. He's speaking to someone who certainly doesn't need his crap and that volunteer isn't responsible for him getting to church on time so HIS kid gets in the nursery. This dude was lucky it was church because I had some unfriendly words for him and I hate seeing volunteers get disrespected. (I sound so much like Jesus right now?)
But how often do I do that? How often do you do that? How often we as leaders blame people instead of adapting to the system or make ourselves accountable? Because those were the right options, he either could have said to himself one of the following:
"I will no longer be late, this is my fault."
"The system is one that rewards those who are early, I have to deal with it and adjust."
"I will start volunteering so there is more space for kids"
As leaders it starts with us. When someone isn't getting it done we have to look at ourselves first and ask ourselves what we aren't doing. If it is a system issue we either adapt to the system or get our hands dirty and fix it. When we don't do these things we just storm around pouting looking like a spoiled child.
As a leader, when do you find it the most difficult to evaluate yourself? I would love for you to share with a comment.